2.28.03
Axle of Evil
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Be an American Patriot: Buy Japanese
First the Bush administration used "the war on terrorism" in an attempt to convince Americans not to buy drugs. Then Arianna Huffington and The Detroit Project lashed back at the patronizing campaign with their own preachy campaign, this one protesting SUVs and the terrorist sponsors who buy and fuel them. Now, a New Jersey car dealer is playing the anti-terror card to - you guessed it - sell SUVs.

Actually, as featured in a 2/20 AP article on Yahoo News, Brad Benson, owner of the dealership, sells all kinds of Mitsubishi and Hyundai models. In a recent ad, he challenged Saddam Hussein, proclaiming, "If he'll just give up now and get out of Iraq, I'll give him a brand new Mitsubishi, nicely equipped, every year for the rest of his life…. How about a four-wheel drive Mitsubishi Outlander, a perfect choice for running away in the desert?"

Not surprising, the response was less than positive. People called with comments like "I can't tell you how sickening it was to hear you making fun of a very serious situation." Some addle-minded Nostradamus type admonished, "How dare you give a car to that guy, when he's going to be responsible for killing a lot of people".

Benson pulled the ad after two days, and then apologized in a subsequent ad. That one prompted more than 700 complaints from people who believed "that Benson had nothing to apologize for to begin with." Now Mr. Can't Leave Well Enough Alone is at it again with a third ad he hopes will assuage the situation.

This isn't the first time Benson has employed patriotism as a means to inspire vehicle procurement. His company's website is slathered with red, white and blue, as was the uniform he wore while playing Offensive Line for the New York Giants in the '70s and '80s.

Benson's ad copy implies that wants to see the war on Iraq cut off at the pass. One might expect an apple pie eatin' ex-football pro such as himself (an offensive lineman no less) to be more hawkish. Be that as it may; if Benson aims to help obviate war, I'd think he'd do something that shows more guts. For instance, he could join the misguided legions of "human shields" protecting strategic Iraqi sites.

Or, how's this? He could send an army of Mitsubishi and Hyundai SUVs to stand guard in Iraq. Who knows? If the "no war for oil" crowd is right, maybe that's what it would take for Bush to put the gun down.



Carbonation Cops
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Ruling with an Aluminum Fist
To this day I can picture her vividly, hunching over the desk in the front room, furiously penning a consumer complaint to whomever it may have concerned. Yep, Mom was pissed. You see, game spectators would no longer be allowed to bring containers of any sort into Rich Stadium, home of The Buffalo Bills. And as far as she was concerned, that meant The Bills would be minus four season ticket holders now that law-abiding, hot chocolate toting families were to be punished for the drunken antics of unwieldy fans who made a habit of getting sloshed off their cooler stash.

Especially in this era of heightened security, the days of packin' your own are long gone in the U.S. Not so in Johannesburg, South Africa where World Cup Cricket watcher Arthur Williamson was removed from the Centurion stadium, not because of the cooler bag he brought, but because of its offending contents. According to a 2/17 Sify News story, Williamson had the audacity to bring Coca Cola to the Pepsi sponsored event.

Claiming assault, the South African businessman called the incident "a sign of the lengths that the tournament will go to prevent 'ambush marketing.' " Whether his mission was to sabotage Pepsi's tyrannical marketing efforts or simply sack away a few sodas for the game is not made clear in the report.

As noted in the article, World Cup organizers "had gone to great lengths to explain to the public the measures taken to protect the interests of official sponsors." Pepsi requested that Coca Cola branded clothing, hats and bags be banned from the event in addition to the rival drink. Williamson, whose was spouse and son joined him in flagrantly flouting the fizz makers, refused to allow confiscation of the remaining unopened cans of Coke, so the three were extricated from the premises.

Is this pathetic, or what? More than anything, Pepsi's dictatorial demands are a sign of insecure paranoia. If Pepsi is so easily threatened by a guy minding his own business, slugging some high-fructose syrupy swill of another name, that doesn't say much for the power of Pepsi's brand presence.

Come to think of it, Cricket's a pretty wimpy game for Pepsi to be sponsoring, isn't it? I guess the soda jerks just wouldn't be able to handle sponsoring more macho displays of athleticism, like boxing, football, or wrestling. If they're lookin' to brand any other sporting events, I hear the Junior Synchronized Swimming World Championships have a few sponsor slots open.



Ad-men and Seditious Acts
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Conversational Lampoon
They spend millions of dollars to have their products placed in bang 'em up flicks featuring violent, perverted crimes, gruesome killings and horrific explosions. Then, when the same stuff happens in real life, they cower at the thought of having ads for those very products run alongside TV or newspaper coverage of the occurrences.

For once, I'd like to see advertisers and their supposedly sage-like agencies make up their damn minds and stick to the decision.

I wonder what the readily rattled ad folk will think when they catch a glimpse of the recent findings of the London Business School. As featured in a 2/11 Toronto Star story, the biz brainery's professor Mark Ritson writes, "the more people there are in room [sic] during a commercial break, the less chance there is that they will pay attention to the ads." He chalks it up to the tendency groups of people have to - just imagine - converse with one another, particularly when they've gathered to watch a TV show and the bathroom…er…commercial break comes on.

Apparently none of these eggheads surveyed TV watching homes like the one I grew up in where we talked throughout the entire show, and not with one another either, but at the screen.

If that weren't bad enough, TV event attendees sometimes even (gulp!) "mock or trash the products and their pitches," according to the article. The school's ad academics call it "The Friends Effect." Man, ya gotta love that subtle British humor. Word has it they really wanted to call it "The Plebes Who Don't Have Much in Common Besides the Fact That They Like to Watch The Same Top Rated Broadcast Pap Everyone Else Does Effect."

The researchers also determined that the later at night an ad runs, the "more likely it is to be watched by viewers than those (ads) in the traditionally premium slots of early-evening peak-time." They've named this phenomenon "The Late Night Curve." Hmmm…and all this time I thought "The Late Night Curve" was the system that rates David Letterman as "entertaining" by comparing him to Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel.

The Toronto Star's take: advertisers that base media buying decisions on Nielsen "people meter" ratings "which measure the number of household members in the TV room, are being misled."

I wouldn't be surprised if the advertising community responds in the same way, which is confusing. All this time I thought advertisers wanted their products and ads to be conversation fodder. I mean, just look at the recent efforts of London agency, Cunning Stunts. The firm made international headlines with the launch of campaigns for men's mag, FHM and TV station CNX both of which are running in the form of temporary tattoos on the foreheads of students. Part of the deal is that the tattooed youths must agree to be in public for at least three hours a day. Surely, the conversation catalyst quotient of this new form of media was a major selling point for the advertisers. There are countless other marketing efforts that center around people talking up products or the promos, and in essence, doing the promotion themselves. (Check out Sales Pitch Society for a closer look at that ad world underbelly.)

It seems as though advertisers want their cake and eat it too: Talk us up all you want…as long as you say good things, that is! Whether they like it or not, they can't control whether their ads are noticed, much less appreciated in the manner intended. So, rather than worrying that their ads are doomed for Saturday Night Live or Mad Magazine parody stardom, perhaps advertisers should concentrate on the task at hand: developing solid creative that attracts attention and gets the message across in a clear and concise manner.

Or they could always go the really imaginative route and throw in a little T&A.


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