5.9.03
Triennium Terribilis
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Special Berfday Edition
The Lowbrow Lowdown is celebrating its third birthday! As many seasoned folks know, that's, like, totally crusty in Web years.

Throughout that time, The Lowbrow Lowdown has touched on a salmagundi of topics, from Smithsonian sponsorships to Bondi Beach branded bikinis, and dropped more names than Dennis Miller at a Time Travelers Convention.

All the while, this column's been written and published with one main goal in mind: fun. But buried deep beneath its bubbly exterior lies a subtler, no less significant mission. That is to analyze the effects of marketing and advertising on culture, society and our daily lives.

To commemorate this effort, however poorly executed, The Lowbrow Lowdown Lackeys have compiled a list of the top twenty topical tales featured on these virtual pages (in semi-chronological order).

So, won't you join them in a stroll down memory lane? Hey, give 'em a break; after all, they were considerate enough to edit out the lame video sequence! Oh, and don't forget to vote for your favorite Lowbrow Lowdown story in our extraordinarily non-scientific poll!

  • Golden Marble Awards Special Coverage
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    Parts One and Two
    The Lowbrow Lowdown becomes a fly on the wall as Golden Marble Award protesters combat marketing to kids.
    Year One Full Story
    Year Two Full Story

  • A Whale of a Dick
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    No Cure in Sight
    The Lowbrow Lowdown diagnoses Moby with the dreaded disease, Janeane Garofaluenza.
    Full Story

  • Billboards Against Beelzebub
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    Parish the Thought
    The Lowbrow Lowdown sheds light on modern day signs from God. Who knew they could be neon?
    Full Story

  • The Gods Must Be Cranky
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    Sacred Suds
    The Lowbrow Lowdown ventures to India's great festival of the pot of nectar, immortality and -- you guessed it -- commercial enlightenment.
    Full Story

  • Protest-Lite
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    Revolutionary Pick-up Line
    The Lowbrow Lowdown sneaks up on Nike as it thwarts a coup de la sole.
    Full Story

  • Teach Your Consumers Well
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    The Youth Is Getting Wrested
    The Lowbrow Lowdown reveals a mission to teach children to be good li'l consumers.
    Full Story

  • Much Ado About Shopping
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    Futile Mercantile Maneuver
    The Lowbrow Lowdown wonders how pushing a Wal-Mart shopping cart can lead to cosmic understanding.
    Full Story

  • Farvegcrooken
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    Automatic Ad Campaign
    The Lowbrow Lowdown asks why VW creativity can't be applied to audio ad components.
    Full Story

  • The Saga of Chris and Luke
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    Parts One and Two
    The Lowbrow Lowdown follows promo prophets Chris and Luke on their college sponsorship crusade.
    Part One Full Story
    Part Two Full Story

  • Suspicious Suds
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    Coors Cons-beer-acy?
    The Lowbrow Lowdown takes shots at the Silver Bullet's Orwellian promo strategy.
    Full Story

  • Fun, Fun, Fun Till Abercrombie Takes the T&A Away
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    Magazine Spread -- No Eagle
    The Lowbrow Lowdown laments that 9/11 over-sensitivity is keeping teens from their favorite pseudo porn.
    Full Story

  • Trading Card Inculcation
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    1 Mohammed Atta, Mint
    The Lowbrow Lowdown can endure America's trading card propaganda operation for only so long.
    Full Story

  • Human-Not-So-Kind
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    Animal Pelt InFURiates Man with Bat
    The Lowbrow Lowdown hunts down PETA's human abusers.
    Full Story

  • Lego My Good Sense
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    Serious Ploy
    The Lowbrow Lowdown topples the Lego Fortress of Flimflam.
    Full Story

  • Correctional Capitalism
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    Customer Captivity
    The Lowbrow Lowdown riots against prisoners of industrial-complex conspiracy theories.
    Full Story

  • California Uber Coffee
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    The Other CAFE Standards
    The Lowbrow Lowdown roasts Berkeley's bean brigade.
    Full Story

  • Legal Lactation
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    The Defense Rests (in the Cupboard, not the Fridge)
    The Lowbrow Lowdown smells futility as Kraft shelves a cheesy comic artist.
    Full Story

  • Cow Gypping
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    The Bark of the Oligarch
    The Lowbrow Lowdown unleashes tales of marketing mutts and branded bovines.
    Full Story

  • Label Lackeys
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    Smug Overdose
    The Lowbrow Lowdown tags brand slaves.
    Full Story

  • Incogs on the Blog
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    Carrion of Commercialism
    The Lowbrow Lowdown rages against the subculture squelching tendencies of marketers.
    Full Story



    Hey kids!
    Don't forget these very special moments in
    Lowbrow Lowdown history!


    And They Wrapped Him in Swaddling Brands
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    Gold, Frankincense and a New Cell Phone
    The Lowbrow Lowdown celebrates its very first Christmas by loading up on rock out cut out cookies and just plain getting loaded.
    Full Story

    American Pie á la Mode
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    Federal Fashion Victim
    The Lowbrow Lowdown gives the archetype of Americana, Uncle Sam, a much needed makeover.
    Full Story

    The Lowbrow Lowdown is available for syndication.

    Disclaimer
    The The Lowbrow Lowdown™ is a registered trademark. Any use of The The Lowbrow Lowdown™ name or content without consent of Kate Kaye is strictly prohibited.

    While best efforts were used in collecting and preparing the information contained herein, The Lowbrow Lowdown™ does not assume, and hereby disclaims, any liability for any loss or damage caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions resulted from negligence, accident or other causes.