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9.6.06 Denizens of Dorkdom -- OR -- Ava Life? 
Cross an IRC featuring a debate about the MSM's disregard for the role of CGM in the Lamont primary victory, and not only do you get a bunch of annoying acronyms that are lost on most people; chances are you've stumbled upon a room full of tech-savvy political junkies. Unlike others in the genus Nerdus -- Nerdus Chesseri, Nerdus Baseballon Statisticum or Nerdus Comicata -- the Nerdus Politechnicus sometimes spends more time interacting with its counterparts in virtual settings than in real ones.
In what could represent an evolutionary milestone for the species, its members were found last Thursday in a half-empty theater, having taken on curious forms. There was the over-pumped, spiky-haired neon green guy, the mysterious alien-like wizard, and the hirsute dude sporting a "Stop Slavery" balloon. They'd all convened to see a political phony. OK, not exactly. They'd come as so-called "residents" of the 3-D virtual realm Second Life to watch Nextel co-founder, ex-Virginia Governor and as-yet-unannounced democratic presidential candidate Mark Warner manifested as an online avatar for an interview with Second Life "embedded journalist" Hamlet Au. The event was arranged by Warner's Forward Together PAC* and Millions of Us, a consulting firm focused on virtual marketing, according to an 8/30 Forward Together press announcement. To kick off last Thursday's animated affair, Warner's digital doppelganger literally descended onto the stage from midair flight, in an apparent display of avatar adeptness. "For now, then, ladies and gentlemen, robots, aliens, furry animals, and other citizens of indeterminate origin," proclaimed Au, "please join me in welcoming [Mark Warner] to Second Life. Welcome, sir!" Despite the hoopla, from the looks of the sparsely populated online New Globe Theater, few Second Lifers could be bothered to tear themselves away from their virtual relationship dramas and not-so-real estate flipping to attend the event. The low turnout may have been intentional though. Some say the event planners limited attendance; others say cyber ruffians were kicked out of the session before it started in an effort to obviate uncouth behavior. Even the elite group of big-busted blondes, inanimate objects and feathered creatures who remained expressed boredom, directing their avatars to flex muscles and perform "a spanking gesture called 'kmb' -- kiss my butt," as reported in The Washington Post's Washington Sketch column. As the Lowbrow Lowdown Lackeys have learned, the "L for Loser" hand gesture has been banned from Second Life because it's triggered too many bullying flashbacks among users. As noted in the New World Notes transcript of the interview, Warner's make believe twin vanished in a poof of pixel dust following the brief discussion. Man, I wish more politicians were into self-combusting! The fact that audience members were not allowed to question the fake politician may have contributed to their indifference. Or, perhaps the less-than-probing questions posed by Au simply weren't tailored enough to the interests of the avatar attendees. Rather than focusing on the usual stuff like Iraq, homeland security and abortion, Warner should have laid out his Second Life-centric platform. What about the constantly fluctuating currency valuations, the quality of (pretend) life issues, and the addition of Land of the Lost character names to the Dr. Who-laden list of available avatar monikers? Although most pundits have praise for Warner's foray into virtual campaigning, he's certainly not the first real world entity to promote in an online world. Brands such as Kellogg's Pop-Tarts, Levis and DaimlerChrysler have pitched in pixilated realms. Folks including musician Suzanne Vega and author Kurt Vonnegut also have made imaginary appearances. In fact, the general concept has been a hot topic among emerging media and Web marketing types since The Harvard Business Review published a paper on Avatar-Based Marketing in June. The whole virtual world thing strikes me as often delusional, usually a waste of time -- and always downright lame. All nerd-needling aside, though, I'm sure there are some benefits for Warner, who plans to return for a more in-depth Second Life Q&A in the future. For one thing, he garnered some press attention from the likes of CNN, The Washington Post and popular blogs Boing Boing and DailyKos. Plus, this sort of outreach could help build on Warner's growing base of Web supporters, which will come in handy when it comes time to pass the campaign hat. Still, I just don't understand why Second Lifers would want to muddy their fantastical experiences with those of the real world. And more important, I'm not exactly sure this sort of push could have much impact in the scheme of things. Could such a tech-geek-oriented effort backfire by branding Warner as the avatar candidate? An out-of-touch-with-the-mainstream label like that certainly could be problematic when it comes to appealing to voters beyond the small pool of Second Life residents. (Currently, there are only around 270,000.) Then again, when our country finally amends The U.S. Constitution to grant voting rights to avatars, Warner will have established a solid base of make believers. In the end, appealing to online donors and volunteers and wooing Nerdus Politechnicus is all fine and dandy. But what really counts is getting real people to real polls. It's just too bad you have to get a primary life to vote…. *read: presidential campaign beta test Send this issue of The Lowbrow Lowdown to a friend!
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