Yes, You Too Can Create an Ad in 3 Days!
Campaign's Immediacy Hits the Mark

Dateline 5.8.2000...content technologies (online security specialists)...UK Headquarters Threat Lab technicians isolate the I Love You virus. Lab techs notify Bellevue, Washington office of impending email doom.

Dateline 5.9.2000...Spark (advertising agency)...Seattle, Washington Office Development of ad creative is in progress for full-page Wall Street Journal print ad for content technologies.

Dateline 5.10.2000...00:4:30...content technologies...Bellevue, Washington Office Wall Street Journal print ad is being finalized. Approval from UK Headquarters is imminent.

Dateline 5.10.2000...00:8:45...Spark...Seattle, Washington Office Creative awaits rights confirmation for print ad image.

Dateline 5.10.2000...00:9:00...Spark...Seattle, Washington Office Print ad is delivered to Wall Street Journal for two-day ad run.

Scouring the Wall Street Journal on the 10th of May, I came across the full-page content technologies ad. While systems were down around the globe, the security software firm had scrambled to capitalize on the ILOVEYOU virus pandemonium. “The immediacy of this campaign has rendered me speechless!” I exclaimed. How'd they manage this? Alas, it was time to make a few phone calls.

The developers of MIMEsweeper™, a software that blocks potentially nefarious emails by subject and keyword filtering, had already received a multitude of local and national press coverage by the day after the virus struck worldwide computer immune systems. However, the company had to “capitalize on this while it was still fresh,” commented Teri Wiegman, VP of marketing at content technologies.

The pros at Spark, content technologies' small but very capable ad agency of choice, were already diligently developing creative. The focus: preventative damage control and timeliness. A photo of children apprehensively awaiting a nauseating dose of castor oil was the attention grabber. The accompanying copy read, “Millions relied on anti-virus software to stop “ILOVEYOU.” It left more than a bad taste in their mouths.”

“The audience was already in an emotional state,” noted Terry Short, President of Spark. “We just had to take advantage of that natural reaction.”

Content technologies also realized that an ad in the trades “wouldn't cut it.” So, with the assistance of an insider at the company's media placement agency in Boston, Carat Freeman, content technologies was able to finagle the Wall Street Journal deal. Thus, the ad bullet maintained course and speed. And, acquiring permission for the use of an unsolicited quote from a very pleased client didn't hurt either. In fact, as of last week, content technologies had already garnered a couple of new accounts as a result of the ad.

“It was definitely a team effort,” asserted Wiegman modestly.

When you recall this li'l tale the next time your campaign is late to launch, let me know which reaction is stimulated more -- motivation, or inadequacy.

Gutter-mouthed Ad Man Speaks
Do Saatchi Commandments Put Disney Ad to Shame?

A garish caricature (is there any other kind?) of Saatchi & Saatchi's chief exec, Kevin Roberts, adorned the Marketplace section of the 5/18 edition of the Wall Street Journal. Included in Roberts' smugly swear-slathered retorts to the Journal’s questions was the comment, “For me, [the Internet] is like electricity. I don't care where it came from, or how it got there. I just want to figure out how to emotionally connect with it.” Somehow the paper's stoic editorial staff mustered enough restraint to cut the silent response: “Why not stick your finger in a wall-socket and find out, Mr. Roberts?”

Featured in the pedantic “5 Lessons From Kevin Roberts On Advertising and the Web,” is the thought-provoking #5: “Stop obsessing about technology and start obsessing about ideas. The 'e' doesn't stand for electronic; it stands for emotion.”

Hey, even on paper, this guy's statements are tough to dispute. I just couldn't help but notice the juxtaposition of this Roberts-ism and the focus of Disney's “Dinosaur” movie campaign as covered by Bruce Orwall in the very same Wall Street Journal section, on the very same day. Rather than highlight the typical heart-string-pulling appeal of the film (which apparently is lacking), or the thrilling plot (which apparently is not so thrilling), “the central image in much of the advertising for 'Dinosaur'...[is] a giant dinosaur eye, in which a generic dinosaur world is reflected.” Disney, according to Orwall's story, considers the “photo-realistic world” displayed in the film to be “the movie's best selling point.” Perhaps they could use a little Roberts-ian consultation session. My guess is that Disney would have been better off re-releasing Pete's Dragon.

What Would CBS Do?
Secular Shut-down

All they wanted was to drive a little site traffic and promote their CD, which is available free to site registrants. Was that such a sin? Hell no! It's an every day affair in the ad world, right? Well, not according to the CBS catechism.

When the Christian site, ibelieve, approached the network in regards to ad placement during their “Jesus” miniseries which aired in two parts on May 14 and 17, the saintly site was left in limbo, and eventually prohibited from advertising during the show altogether.

95 CBS affiliates responded to the network's un-Christianly move with open arms for ibelieve, notes a Yahoo! News story. The site decided to air one ad during the Wednesday segment on affiliate stations in Detroit, Grand Rapids, LA, Chicago, Philadelphia, Dallas, Miami, Salt Lake City and eight other US cities.

According to Sean Elder's Salon.com piece, CBS cited a disclaimer in defense, that states, "CBS will not air a commercial if the product or content relates too closely to the content of the prime-time entertainment program. If this is the case, the program becomes a program-length commercial. It then proselytizes the show or commercializes the programming."

Well, the next time I see an ad for Letterman during Craig Kilborn's show, CBS is busted!

PU Gets Some PR
Scratch 'n' Sniff in the 21st Century

When I was in 4th grade, I had a sticker collection - a scratch 'n' sniff sticker collection to be precise. I thought leather boot was lame and blueberry was banal. Instead (and there's no need to alert the National Inhalant Prevention Coalition), I dug the offbeat scents of gasoline and freshly cut grass. Apparently, odd odors can be employed as marketing tools in all sorts of ways to appeal to folks. And I'm not talkin' kinky foot- or armpit-fetish stuff here, either.

As featured in a trio of stories in The NY Times' May 14 Automobiles section, olfactory checkpoints could become stops on the auto factory assembly line. In fact, Ford has invested in a $75,000 electronic nose. And even those cuddly new VW beetles have been built with “odor-control” in mind. Auto parts suppliers, GE Plastics Europe have even added “expert noses” to their ranks; “their job is to sniff plastic to keep foul smells from becoming part of your car.” OK. Now you can notify the National Inhalant Prevention Coalition.

Frank Litjens, GE's market developer for interiors mentioned, “...later on, you can sell [the mix of car odors] as a marketing tool by maybe including pleasant smells.”

Pungent pitching already seems to be catching on, as reported by The NY Times in a 5/17 story. Reporter Amanda Hesser “sniffed [her] way around the 100th New York International Auto Show recently,” and some aromas arose from the fuel-injected fumes: the Chevy Malibu (they still make those?) smelled of “[a] cross between a sour pickle and a tennis-ball can.” The reminiscent scent of Play-Doh wafted from the Ford Focus' interior. And, according to Hesser, the GMC Sierra “[s]mells like the first-class section on an old 747” with a hint of bubble-gum for good measure.

Last but not least, you knew it was coming. Call ‘em what you'd like: e-smells, i-smells, site stinks or online odors. A small firm “developing a digital language for recording and recreating smells, using a device attached to a personal computer,” calls them (and themselves) Digiscents, as noted in a 5/22 NY Times brief. The company hopes that a recent deal with Procter and Gamble to collaborate on R&D “could lead to new ways for online customers to sample [P&G's] consumer products....” A Digiscents registry is in the works, too. I wonder if “new PC smell” has been added to the redolent roster yet. Oh, the irony!