The Sincerest Form of Ad Flattery
XXXs and OOOs for ILOVEYOU Ad

Perhaps you perused last week's synopsis of the content technologies ad-in-a-flash success story. In a nutshell, in order to capitalize on the ILOVEYOU virus fiasco, the security solutions company and its agency brought a full-page Wall Street Journal ad from figment to fruition in as little as three days. The story sounds pretty inspirational, huh? Well, it appears that global advisory firm KPMG may have thought so, too. (For the record, phone calls to KPMG were not returned by press time.)

A full page, WSJ print ad for the company’s information risk management services that ran on May 30, featured the following copy in conjunction with an oversized view of “I LOVE YOU” candy hearts: “The next computer virus that hits will be even harder to swallow. Sweet thought, isn’t it?” Compare that to the content technologies ad text that accompanied an image of kids queued up for a yucky spoonful of castor oil: “Millions relied on anti-virus software to stop ‘ILOVEYOU.’ It left more than a bad taste in their mouths.”

Now that’s what I call ad copy.

6.2.00...15:30 EST
This Just In:
Besides stating that the KPMG ad was created entirely in-house, a spokesperson for KPMG has denied any previous knowledge of the aforementioned content technologies ad. Aw shucks....

Greasy Spoons Get Wired
MP3 Dishes Out the Jams

What ever happened to those good ol’ fashioned diner table-top jukeboxes? Nothin’ went better with a grilled cheese ‘n’ soggy fries than musical munch-accompaniment provided by a little Buddy Holly, CCR, or the occasional top 40 gruel. Until now: ads will be on the menu, if MP3.com has anything to do with it.

Wired reports that the digital melody makers will enable restaurants, supermarkets, and stores to plug their own ads into a steady stream of MP3.com tunes. And, since the big thing in online radio is regional ad relevance, Lighteningcast has struck with its Web radio ad targeting/ad aggregating system based on listener location, age and gender. Check it out at www.cyberradio2000.com. Lastly, local newspaper publishers can bring their visitors even closer to home. Everstream (www.everstream.com), a media management firm, allows online newspapers to stream music, news and, of course, ads, in local markets through private-labeled tuners. The service even supports rich media advertising.

Does this mean that when I visit my hometown paper, The Buffalo News, they’ll replace my favorite ads for Duff’s chicken wings with spots for Pizza Junction of Jersey City? Man, that’s blasphemy!

BrandYou vs. BrandMe
Pundits Debate Self-branding

On May 14, The New York Times Magazine ran a piece on the “Self-Branding” phenomenon, as popularized by hype-master Tom Peters. (By the way, if I am subjected to one more of his obnoxiously proselytizing self-promotions disguised as radio ads for jobs.com, I will not be happy.) In the article, author Rob Walker says of self-branding, "Practically everybody seems to think of life in those terms these days, whether they state it so plainly or not."

Do we? Sure, some of us who post to message boards have done so with an ulterior marketing motive in mind. And there’s no harm in givin’ yourself props, on occasion. However, at first thought, considering my individual being as a "brand" leaves an acrid taste in my mouth. After pondering it a bit, I realized that the word "brand" is simply a term employed to represent an idea with which most people seem pretty comfortable, but I still can't help but feel degraded by the thought of myself as a brand.

In my own shameless plug masked as a message board post, I asked some real marketers what they thought. Here’s a recap (Note: Nero, Pericles, PT Barnum and Steve Jobs allusions have been excluded.):

Author of "Six Steps to Free Publicity" (Seriously, that’s the name of the book!), Marcia Yudkin seemed to empathize with my distaste for self-branding, but in the end, she seemed comfortable with the concept:
"The concept of self-branding...reminds people to put their personal identity at the forefront rather than a company identity. For so-called free agents, this is preferable...."Self-branding" is really only a trendy way of saying "famous" or "well-known" (or trying to be, at least...)."

Enter Rob Frankel, Click Z Forum and Online Ad Digest regular, and author of “The Revenge of Brand X ©”:
"Sorry, Marcia, gotta disagree. Branding and awareness are not the same thing. First you create the brand; then you raise its awareness. It's a common mistake, with huge consequences."

Ed Strong, Associate Professor of Marketing and Information Systems at A. B. Freeman School of Business added his two cents (pedantically, I might add):
"I always am [amazed] when students or young colleagues 'discover' the notion of marketing oneself.... Top of mind is what you need, and it's self-branding that gets you there.... [I]t's not unlike choosing keywords on a search engine, then crafting a title and description to gather people in."

Another response whose source shall remain anonymous:
"I am a big fan of the idea of seeing persons as a brand.... [W]hen I worked in classic advertising, I used to give people who applied for a job the task to create a brand campaign for themselves (of course only the ideas...) but I wanted to know whether they [would] be able to sell the most difficult product to sell: [themselves].... I did it once for myself because I wanted to know what I can expect and found it a really astonishing psychological experience."

Hey, I’d do that myself, but I already know I'm chosen 5 to 1 over other leading brands, so why bother?

Finally, Kim Brooks of marketing consultancy Bardo Brooks displayed some scruples:
"[T]he concept of self-branding has also caused me consternation.... Perhaps it's an issue of semantics?

.... It used be that people wanted to establish reputation and recognition within their field because they wanted respect.... Nowadays, the BrandYou advocates would have you believe that respect is valuable because it ensures your marketabilty. While that is a true statement, it's also rather shallow."

Kim gets the Lowbrow Lowdown™ Warm Fuzzy of the Week (no TM) for her b.s.-detecting capabilities! Expect award delivery in 6-8 weeks, Kim!

Unchain Joe’s Name
Aussie Quasi-endorsement

Joe Cocker is feeling sulky lately. The Australian government has paid US $157,000 for the use of his version of “Unchain My Heart.” That sounds OK so far, right? Well, the bureaucrats are using the song in an ad promoting a recent Goods and Services Tax (GST) hike. Somehow the money collectors think that more taxes constitute as more freedom. Sure -- unchain your wallet and emancipate your cash!

Joe’s cool with the ad’s content, except for one thing. The raspy-voiced rocker is enraged over what is essentially his unsolicited endorsement of the GST. The Australian Taxation Office ad is capped off with the words, “spoken by Joe Cocker." According to the May 31 Yahoo! News story, Festival Records managing director Jeremy Fabinyi will seek the removal of the tagline.

Isn’t it funny that this has ensued without a hint of irony, considering the fact that the song lyrics aren’t Cocker’s in the first place? Not to mention the fact that, even if the tax does liberate citizens from tax reform bondage (which, at best, seems like spin doctor rhetoric), Ray Charles and the Beatles may never be free of Joe Cocker’s song cover slavery!

The Ad Behind the Curtain
Even More Words from Our Sponsors

With a little help from digital watermarkers, Digimarc, Wired’s July issue will feature ads encoded with links to actual Web pages. As featured in the Industry Standard coverage, IBM, Ford and Delta will be among the 30 advertisers to take the Web/print convergence plunge.

Readers who are interested in getting more information on a Digimarc-enhanced advertiser can follow these simple steps:

  • Demark print ad page of choice for future reference.
  • Purchase Webcam. If you already own one, remove it from the dusty heap of wires and paper scraps behind your monitor.
  • Get online.
  • Download Digimarc software to Webcam.
  • Locate print ad from bottom of knapsack, briefcase or pocket.
  • Position print ad so Webcam can read the ad’s Digimarc and link to advertiser Web page.

    Tracking benefits aside, is this really necessary? Wired publisher, Drew Shutte thinks so: "I travel and am tear-sheeting constantly. If you could put this into a Palm or pen, that would be really useful," he predicts in the Industry Standard article.

    My question for Mr. Shutte: Must every action and concept have some silly-speak terminology attached to it? Tear-sheeting? Is that anything like foot-mouthing or brand-selfing?

    The Lowbrow Lowdown is available for syndication.

    Disclaimer
    The The Lowbrow Lowdown™ is a registered trademark. Any use of The The Lowbrow Lowdown™ name or content without consent of Kate Kaye is strictly prohibited.

    While best efforts were used in collecting and preparing the information contained herein, The Lowbrow Lowdown™ does not assume, and hereby disclaims, any liability for any loss or damage caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions resulted from negligence, accident or other causes.