8.17.00
Irreverent Ads Say, Salute!
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Have a Drink on Che
Once an image has been plastered on everything from faux-zippos to homemade bongs, it's only a matter of time before the ad man realizes its immense branding capabilities. To the spoiled frat boys who display his image proudly on their chests, to the beret-donning Marxist chicks who insist that Monica Lewinsky was not their inspiration, he symbolizes revolution and empowerment. Yet, now this man of the people has been construed as a man of the potato.

That's right. Last year, the iconic pic featuring Che Guevara posing pensively at a memorial service in 1960 became fodder for Lowe Lintas & Partners Worldwide's print campaign for Smirnoff spicy vodka. The ad also depicted the little-known hammer and chili pepper emblem.

Anonymous sources insist that Lowe Lintas attempted to garner rights to the highly-recognizable, symbolic image of lovely Love Boat chanteuse, Charo, but alas, 'twas not meant to be.

On behalf of the man who captured the famed photo of Che, Diaz Gutierrez (Alberto Korda is his professional name), a claim has been filed in London's High Court by the Cuba Solidarity Campaign, according to an 8/9 Yahoo! News story.

Apparently, as noted in the 8/7 All Things Considered coverage on NPR, this is the first time that Gutierrez/Korda has claimed copyright ownership of the photo, and he's never received royalties on its use.

Assures painter Roberto Rodriguez in the Yahoo! article, "Many tourists buy products with Che's image because they have sympathy for him as a person, for his ideals.''

Really? And I always thought it was because they were Rage Against the Machine fans.

Sending Jingles Down Your Spine
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Potter Fans Spellbound by Promo's Overtones
When I was a kid, my morning chomps were accompanied by the spooky sounds of "The Monsters Go Disco," starring those unforgettable stars of the cereal aisle, Count Chocula, Boo Berry and Frankenberry. (Yes, as Lisa Simpson would say, this is just another cheesy 70's throwback meant to appeal to Gen-Xers.)

"Place coin near record center if record slips," instructed the brightly colored cardboard discs that came with the cereal.

Well, now the sounds of sugary cereal spokes-characters are back. This time, the grooves ain't in the cardboard, though; they're emanating from light-activated computer chips imbedded in specially-marked boxes. The 8/7 print edition of Advertising Age reports that Post cereal will launch two highly integrated campaigns in which digitized voices will become part of the complete breakfasts enjoyed by lucky kids.

As a component of the "Bedrock Rocks" promotion, Fred Flintstone himself will promote free CDs featuring pop-pan-flashes like Sammie and M2M. The dopey quarry worker will congratulate winners of $50 music gift certificates and the grand prize winner of a Sammie concert.

It's too bad: I'd buy a box or two if the grand prize were a baby elephant vacuum cleaner.

That's not all. In a blatant attempt to commercialize the sacred event of All Hallows Eve, Fox Family Channel will run spots during its "13 days of Halloween" programming that prompt kids to beg frazzled parents to (puleeeze) buy boxes of "Honeycombs, Oreo O's (with Halloween orange sprinkles) and Waffle Crisp (with bats)." As the blessed holiday nears, Fox will enhance kids' shows with a superimposed ghost symbol in order to remind them to open their cereal boxes and "have a spooktacular time."

I wonder how the growing Wiccan population among today's Harry Potter hench-girls and -boys will respond to this flagrant necromancy defamation.

Hey, if I were still a kid, I'm sure I'd dig a talking cereal box. However, as an adult, all I can do is cringe in anxious anticipation for the day I see someone open an eight dollar pack of smokes only to hear a pedantic voice exclaim, "Get ready to puff away another day. This message was brought to you by the US Surgeon General and Philip Morris."

Although, I'd love to hear this PETA-funded PSA the next time I crack open a carton of soy milk: "Mooo...many thanks to yooouuu...my teats were killing me."

(Is anybody else craving chalky, tasteless marshmallows right about now?)

And You Thought the Flashing
"Winner" Banner Was Obnoxious...
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The Comet Curse
Sometimes when I'm browsing my favorite sites, I can't help but wish the advertising was...well...even more obtrusive, Don't you? At least the folks at adReady empathize with my plight.

In an obvious display of jealous one-upmanship, the ad innovators decided they could out-annoy Comet Cursor victims, and it looks as though they've succeeded. The tech firm's new patent-pending ad format, adPointer, invites users to "point and discover" each time their cursors lay idle. Yes, the burden of designating ad space will no longer be a concern of adPointer adopters. That's because adPointer ads appear "where the cursor is positioned -- precisely where the user is looking," according to adReady's site.

I don't know about you, but I often catch myself pointing in the same direction my eyes wander.

adReady has agreed to employ the DoubleClick DART system in order to manage inventory, serve and report on campaigns for the button-sized, interactive ads, reports InternetNews.com in its 8/8 brief. Also, VentureDirect Worldwide's Ad-Venture will resell the adPointer to publishers in its site network.

adReady's site boasts that adPointer is a "Hot new technology -- if it's new, it will get noticed." Let's inspect that claim. Surely, something hot and new will attract attention. However, who's to say that the attention will not be negative, especially when it's drawn to a new form of insidious, overt advertising? And hey, back in the day, didn't they say that banners and pop-ups would "get noticed"?

Come to think of it, that's what they said when Louie Anderson took over on the Feud....

Capitalist Pigs in Space
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Mir Ads for Mere Millions
Have you got a spare $9 million eating a black hole through that bulging pocket of yours? If so, there's a Mir module with your name on it. As featured in the 8/7 story in Sharper Media's The Buzz, GPC International is hoping to attract sponsors of the decrepit, yet oh-so-kitschy space station.

This coming fall, in what GPC calls a "new era," Mir will be sent out to pasture, I mean orbit. And along with it, a new meaning will be given to the phrase, "campaign launch."

Dot-com advertisers whose tight ad budgets don't allow for the hefty $9 mil bill can opt for GPC's discount ad opportunity. Yes, for a mere $500K, a cute, cuddly Mir cosmonaut can be yours! Hey, that may seem like a bloated price, but you wouldn't believe the soaring costs of embroidered Kevlar patches these days.

Speaking of the Ruskies in space and their impending capitalist-pig takeover, AdNews reported recently that some members of the Russian Space Agency were less-than-pleased with the Pizza Hut ad plastered on the overdue, Russian-built component to the International Space Station, Zvezda. "[T]he branding exercise only served to cheapen the country's scientific achievement," opined a Space Agency rep.

Surely, those criticisms will be stifled once the agency reps learn that, as covered in an 8/12 Yahoo! News, the producer of Survivor has struck a deal with the MirCorp investment group "to develop a project at Russia's cosmonaut training facility outside Moscow."

Considering the fates of those poor sailors stuck on that Russian sub, and the fact that their superiors were too stubborn to request international help until two or three days after rescue attempts were initiated, any cosmo-nut willing to set foot on Mir deserves whatever's coming to him....

Touché, Safeway!
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Store Manager Achieves "Ultimate Loser" Status
It's rough when sales slump. You've fired three directors of business development in the past five months. You've decided against hiring those dancing dwarves for next week's re-launch revisited extravaganza. You've contracted a freelance Feng Shui specialist, an aura coordinator...hell, you even downloaded that new Seth Godin thing everybody's talkin' about.

Yet, the competition is steamrollering ahead, and you still owe three payments on that positive energy emitter! You could improve your company's CRM (Customer Relationship Management) strategies, come up with some creative promotions, or slash a price or two. But why do that when there's so much more fun to be had by following Safeway's lead?

Rather than attending customer service training sessions, the staff at UK's Safeway chain gets to engage in sabotage tactics. Yep. Says an 8/11 Excite News story, they're "encouraged to fight back against Wal-Mart owned Asda's latest promise to match rivals' advertised prices by invading the stores and clogging up checkouts, causing as much chaos as possible." Hey, I'd work overtime for that!

Sneaky Safeway troops have been spotted across England in attempts to put Asda's new "Ad-match" campaign to the test. One proud moment occurred when ten Safeway soldiers descended upon Asda checkouts in unison, "pulling out their Safeway leaflets at the last minute and asking for prices to be matched."

"One customer was given all his frozen food for nothing because he waited so long," boasted a store manager at Castle Bromwich in the West Midlands. Anonymous sources assure the Lowbrow Lowdown that the proud manager was indeed snorting at the time of comment.